I am 43 years old and i just want to give up living. I am very tired and depressed. My life has been nothing but disappointment after disappointment. I have sabotaged so much of my life I just don't know what to do anymore. I just get so scared my worst fears seem to be coming true. Possible homelessness may be breathing down my mothers neck and i just don't know what to do any more. I am so scared I have been working nonstop for over a year to raise enough money to purchase a house and i messed that up with letting my fear get the better of me. So now there is no house to buy and the new year will come with uncertainy if she can stay were she currently lives. i recognise now that i have been trying to do it all by myself for far too long. And now I need help I NEED HELP!!!
Its not fair to me or my mother I am only one person and I am about to burn out,. No I am burning out. I see no end to this madness the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off for me. My siblings have their lives when will I have mine. My life has been such a disappointment. I have nothing to really call my own. Fear has ruined my life. I have no boyfriend or husband and really no future prospects either. I have nothing really to call my own except a head of hair thats falling out due to stress, Chest pain eye strain and a host of other aches and pains. I finally admit I am depressed.
There is so much I want to tell my family but I am so afraid they will reject me and not help. They are all I have I dont have a big support network. I am just so scared i justwant a life like everybody else I dont want to be a caregiver or keep putting my life on hold or making bad decisions since my fear and anxiety get in the way. I just want to give up
