Still no Peace

There is one thing in this world that most of humanity is craving and that is peace. I don't really mean a world peace cause we know that's virtually impossible. But a inner peace in your small space. I just come to the conclusion I will never have this inner peace that I so desperately seek unless I cut off all ties with humanity. It just seems people are just getting stupider by the minute doing things they know they have no business doing. No manners, no morals, no integrity, no self worth just nothing. I am tired of doing what I know to be right. I don't bother people I mind my own business, pay taxes, sweep my sidewalk, Dont borrow or break the law. Trust me I am no saint by the stretch of the imagination. and yet I have no peace.

This is the one thing I desperately crave above all else above riches above it all. I will be moving in a couple of weeks to a nice neighborhood with law abiding citizens who follow the mores and norms that make a society work. I will be leaving behind a neighborhood with a ghetto trash population that I cant stand (closely on the verge of hating mind you) And yet you think I would be happy beyond happy.  I am 50/50 when it comes to the happy meter. Why because I still have family in the ghetto trash neighborhood who are stuck there. So what is suppose to bring me peace my new place. Is just another fancy prison where I will worry about those I left behind. where I worry they wont be a vigilant or as some say obsessive as I was making sure to keep trouble at a healthy distance. Sure I wont have to see it everyday but it will still poison my mind when I get to do normal every day things.  I will worry when it rains hoping the basement doesn't flood.

Or if the latest shooting was anywhere near my family. Did they remember to lock the door. All sorts of things most folks take for granted in their normal peaceful lives in their decent neighborhoods. Some days i don't know why I even bother getting out of bed. Because I see no end to this nightmare unless I take it out on the folks who help create it. Then if that ever happens then I have truly gone over the edge and their is definitely no turning back from that. I may have no peace in my life but for some reason I sure do have a lot of hope. Hope that certain people will see that its time to move on. That its time to take off the rose colored glasses and acknowledge the neighborhood has gone to hell. And the only way to save it is to bulldoze it under and start fresh.


And I am a believer and that doesn't help much either. I know peace doesn't come from this world it comes my Lord  and Savior. But still its gets harder and harder to cling to that peace when you are bombarded of images of nasty ass people who don't care about anything but themselves. And people wonder why other communities hate them and don't want them living anywhere in their neighborhood.. And it pisses you off because you are not like that and you get labeled along with the trash. I love my family really I do but part of me just wants to cut off al ties and pretend they don't exist. because if I just have myself to worry about maybe then I will get that peace I so desperately want.